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I do what I want. I bet on myself because I can. [Jun. 27th, 2008|02:33 am]
[I recommend |The Wallflowers - Sleepwalker]

   I would first like to take this opportunity to thank you guys for offering me a place in your company. I have been very impressed with what I have learned about your products and staff. That said, I don’t think that I will be able to continue my work here.

    I am quitting because I think there is a discrepancy between what I have been assigned to do, and the manner in which my work has been handled. Since day one, I have been more than happy to accommodate every direction you guys have given me. The problem lies in the fact that the evolving instructions I receive are now getting in the way of me accomplishing the original stated goals you set for me.

    This is demonstrated in the article proposal process. In the beginning, I was instructed to construct information based health articles using recent studies. Since then I have seen hard work and research wasted because it is not “actionable”, “recent enough”, or because there are problems with the methodology (Animal studies/In Vitro studies). Now, the narrow criteria for articles has left me with an EXTREMELY limited amount of material to work with. Under this criteria, I believe that 5 articles per week is not possible.

    I am also having a problem with how my work is edited. I am seeing micro-managing of every single one of my sentences. I do not think this is efficient. Maybe, it is because of my age or perceived lack of experience, but you guys do not seem to have a lot of confidence in my style, approach, or researching abilities. I do not take my work lightly. Before writing anything, I am sure to research as much as I can from as many sources I can get. When editing my work, I feel that it is changed without properly scrutinizing my sources. I do not get my ideas out of thin air, they are a product of careful consideration based on the instructions I was given and my sources.

    These problems are further compounded by the busy schedule of those assigned to work with me. I am often waiting for approval to start writing, then I wait for editing, then I wait for final approval, and then I wait for posting. I do not think this is efficient or sustainable for a 10 hour per week job. This is unfortunate, because I am pretty proud of the articles I have written, and the progress I have made. The problem I have, is that my hard work and progress are not reflected in how my articles are perceived. If anything, based on today, my articles are making you guys more unhappy than ever.

    My suggestion, if you guys are willing to experiment again with a position you have given me, is to establish a manual of standard operating procedures for the job. These should be firm guidelines for the writing of articles. The editing process should also be streamlined, and a degree of freedom allowed based around the standard operating procedure.

    I understand that this is a new position, and a new service that you want to offer to your clients, and that the pains I have felt are not a product of anyone of you guys wishing me to fail or to waste my time. Furthermore, upon considering my career goals and my finishing at PBCC, I have decided to apply to UCF and UF. This means that I will be leaving the area by December, and I do not think it fair for you guys to invest so much time and energy into grooming me when I will be leaving in a few months.

    Again, thank you for the opportunity. I will make sure Adam has all the articles I have written as polished as possible.
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This is poetry. (Not a statement) [Jun. 2nd, 2008|12:17 am]
[I recommend |The Format - A Save Situation]

I am not getting in the middle if I live there.

I am allowed to make decisions.

I am willing to acknowledge, apologize, and get over. Are you?

I don't mean to bully anyone.

I am unconcerned with anybody's insecurities. Nobody should concern themselves with mine.

I will not take a punishment in excess of the magnitude my crime.

You cannot condemn me for an action you would commit in my shoes.

This is who I am.
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When you think more than you want your thoughts begin to bleed. [May. 26th, 2008|05:19 pm]
[I recommend |Eddie Vedder - Society]

The presidential primary season has been long. It is not an exaggeration to say that it has been torture for most of us. Money is being spent in record numbers. Candidates are dissected after every breath they take. The candidates have fought honorably amid such conditions.

Primary elections have been held in 48 states, in a process started in early January, and yet the Democratic Party has not been able to name their nominee for the general election.

Recently, Senator Barack Obama, leader in the delegate count, held a rally for supporters at Broward County’s BankAtlantic Center. There was electricity in the air, as 16,000 Floridians showed up, amid unbearable humidity and rain to show their support for their candidate of “Hope.” I was there. I took notes.

“It’s good to be in sunshine,” said Obama.

Obama’s 39 minute speech outlined his position on all the major issues. He delivered his points with charisma, and clarity.

He continually emphasized the differences between himself and his potential adversary in the general election, Arizona Senator John McCain, by saying, “John McCain is running for Bush’s third term.” The line, used more than once, was met by sympathetic boos from the arena.

On Iraq, Obama reiterated the position he has held consistently since 2002. “Ten billion dollars a month are being spent in Iraq… I was opposed in 2002, and I will bring an end to it in 2009.” He invoked a quote from former president John F. Kennedy in explaining how he will handle the complex issue of foreign policy, “Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate.”

The candidate also acknowledged the frustration many Americans feel toward their economy. He does not agree with McCain’s analysis of Bush economic policy as “great progress.” His plan would involve a middle-class tax cut, a commitment to fair trade, investment in new technologies to spur new job markets, raising the minimum wage, and reforming the mortgage and credit industries. “People are losing their homes because of the failure to regulate the mortgage industry.” His proposals would also put and end to tax breaks to corporations that outsource jobs.

On healthcare, like Senator Hilary Clinton, Obama pledged to provide help for the 45 million uninsured Americans. His goal is a complete healthcare plan, with coverage similar to what is offered to the Armed Forces and members of Congress, to be set in place by the end of his first term.

On education, Obama pledged his commitment by stating, “I want every child in America to get the best education available… I want college affordable for young people.” His plan involves rewarding quality teachers with higher salaries, raising academic standards in public schools (“But not with one high pressure standardized test.”), and the creation of the American Opportunity Tax Credit, which will provide up to $4000 towards a college education for most Americans. “Every child is our child.”

On energy and the environment, Obama understands the need to “invest in alternative fuels.” His website cites a plan to invest $150 billion over ten years on “clean energy.” His plan would also reduce carbon emissions and increase fuel efficiency. In his speech, he promised a $10 billion investment on solar, wind, and biodiesel technologies. Again, he invoked the Camelot president by saying, “I will take on energy the way JFK took on the moon.”

An issue that Obama failed to address in his speech at the BankAtlantic center was immigration. This may have been by design, as opinions range wildly in the ethnically diverse South Florida. His website emphasizes his support of increased security at the borders. Obama would also fix the bureaucracy in the immigration system, remove incentives to illegal immigrants (by punishing employers who hire them), and work with Mexico to promote economic development.

I will vote for Obama because I believe him to be the best qualified candidate in our upcoming presidential election. As a liberal, I would not be able to vote Republican. McCain does not offer a healthcare plan, and he would extend our commitment in Iraq. He follows a line of leaders immune to public opinion, and logical thinking.

While I would support Senator Clinton, as the only viable alternative to a Republican white house in the event of her securing the nomination, I do not believe she is as qualified as Obama. To me, she represents the politics of pull over the politics of truth and ability. Her national support stems from her dysfunctional marriage to a former president. While she seems capable, and experienced, she does not represent change. She represents the continuation of a system of partisan politics. She is funded by special interest groups, and I am sure their influence would litter her presidency.

I will vote Barack Obama because I believe in the “audacity of hope.” From his writings, and from his speeches, I know him to be logical in thought and pure in ethics. From his humble origins, being raised by a single mom and working class grandparents, I believe him immune to the corruption that power provides. He explains, “I am not trying to play the game. I am putting an end to the game plan.” I know him to be a scholar in the lessons of the past, and his intellect and integrity will guide this nation through a critical point in its history. He says that he is running on what Martin Luther King Jr. called the fierce urgency of now. “There is a war going on that should never have been authorized… people are losing their homes… many are suffering… we are threatened by global warming… we are threatened by high gas prices… we can’t wait… change can’t wait.”

“When we are united sunshine there is nobody that can stop us.”

I do not believe that the U.S. should change the way the president is elected. I believe the American people will make the right choice and their mandate will be too compelling and powerful to ignore. I believe Barack Obama to be our next president.
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An exercise in interviewing. [May. 20th, 2008|05:08 pm]
[I recommend |Jim James & Calexico - Goin' To Acapulco]

When Brent Allen, 23, heard the call for volunteers he did not hesitate. Never mind that most people run away from fires and not towards them. When family calls he is happy to answer.

Allen works for Marion County Fire Rescue. He lives in Ocala but was part of a 5 engine strike team called by the state to protect homes in Bayberry Lakes of Volusia County. The volunteers were responding to Governor Christ’s state of emergency issued on Monday May 12th. As many as 500 homes were evacuated in Daytona Beach.

Outside assistance was requested as the emergency drained local resources and officials grew in need of help to man critical posts. Along with the state’s Division of Forestry, Marion County firefighters participated in the cutting of lines to stop the spread of flames. They used tractors and plows to isolate blazes preventing their spread to unaffected areas. Flames came as close as 75 yards to area residences.

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but the capacity to act despite our fears.”

Allen is not only a firefighter. He is a paramedic. He is trained in giving the breath of life and providing heartbeats. The procedure is known as intubation. The paramedic opens the mouth of a victim, places a tube in his throat, and uses a bag valve mask to pump air into his lungs. “It’s a rush” says Allen.

The firefighter cites cigarette smokers as having an important responsibility in regards to wildfires. “It’s important that they not throw cigarette butts out of their windows, they may not know it, but it can cause someone losing their home.” He encourages the public to be careful with their campfires, and to keep their homes landscaped.

“… When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze…” – Isaiah 43:2

His whole life, Allen wanted to be a firefighter. He counts the example of his firefighter uncle, and the loving support of his newlywed wife Brittany among the many things that have sustained his love of the job. “There is always excitement when you are dealing with (an active structure fire). Training kicks in. Outside thoughts disappear. And you go to work… it’s the best job in the world.”

Monday in Volusia County was tense as multiple factors led to “tinder-box” conditions. Wind from a stalled cold front fanned the flames, along with a strong sea breeze. Allen explains, “Winds can pick up an ember and take it a quarter mile and all of a sudden you have uncontrollable burning at your back.” Lack of rain has also contributed to an increased fire risk.

The cause of the wildfires remains undetermined. Allen and his fellows on the strike team were demobilized on Tuesday. The fire at Bayberry Lakes was contained.

Brent Allen was allowed to go back to his wife. He won’t mind the next time he is called to protect lives. Everyday there is a possibility he will have to face tasks mere mortals would not be capable of accomplishing. He doesn’t seem fazed.

“You are inside a burning three story building, you can’t see your hand in front of your face, but you have your brother next to you, your equipment and your training, and you do the impossible.”
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Now when I drink the levy I was born to love her. [May. 18th, 2008|04:14 pm]
[I recommend |The Smashing Pumpkins - Eye]

It is the job of others to reassure, mine to unsettle.

It is only people's games you have to dodge its alright ma I can make it.

Goin' to acapulco goin' on the run.

Now if someone offers me a joke I just say no thanks. I try to tell it like it is and keep away from pranks.
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Take apart your head. Chew it up and swallow it. [Apr. 30th, 2008|02:40 pm]
[I recommend |Mos Def - A Ha]

Yo dawg happy 420. Ya I don't feel so good I'm sick with flu-like symptoms. Nah I'm not on the injured list though, as I'm determinded to fight through the pain. Although an IV hookup sounds good to me right about now. Those things are delicious. I'm never giving blood ever again though. It feels weird as crap when you're laying there next to a bag full of your own blood. It feels like dying a little bit I bet. I blame donating blood with my weaker immune system and my subsequent illness. Fuck you nig find your own blood don't be taking none of mine.

I'm sitting here writing about James Joyce. The guy seems like me and him have a couple of things in common. I bought a package that includes Dubliners and a Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. I can't wait to read it. I hope I'll get to it soon but the end of the sememester has me frantically trying to finish assignments. This flu doesn't help matters but I'm pretty much unstoppable at this point. It looks like I'll reach my goal six A's this semester. I just do work.

Haha me and E are like the San Antonio Spurs. Unstoppable. Get it how you want it, cuz the suns got it every way.

The guitar I play has a sticker on the front. It says "This machine kills fascists." My first street performance will be outside Sound Advice at the Dave Matthews concert. Look for my extended version of Its Alright Ma I'm Only Bleeding.

I'm so poor.
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I'm gonna get paid. [Apr. 3rd, 2008|11:07 pm]
[I recommend |Joe Arroyo - No Le Pegue A La Negra]

I will not play your game. I refuse to feel guilt. You can keep your machine. Remember my name. I am John Galt.

Haha I take things too seriously huh?

At least I can look you in the eye.
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The unwashed phenomenon. [Mar. 28th, 2008|10:35 pm]
[I recommend |Joan Baez - Love is Just a Four Letter Word]

Joan Baez you feel free to sing to me any time you want. Mmmhmmm. Diamonds and Rust is my heart.

I read a poem at a relative's funeral. I fumbled the words and not once looked up at the church. It was classic Andres.

I could have died then and there.

Oh I ride Palm Tran now. It just shows you my commitment to the environment. What are you doing to reduce your carbon emissions?
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Fucking posers. [Mar. 24th, 2008|01:37 am]
[I recommend |N.E.R.D. - Lap Dance]

Ya I'm on the homestretch with Atlas Shrugged. I like the damn book but I don't concede too many points to objectivism. I figure they are better off giving me the 10k now.

I like Benjamin Franklin aka Ben cuz the guy was like yo you gotta stay hungry and don't drink beer. I can ride with that.

Politicians are sounding like strippers to me.

My girl drives me crazy she wants sexytime but I'm trying to study.

Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron got nothing on us.

I wonder if I smoke too much. But then I smoke and I don't really feel bad about it. It makes me tune out all the sillyness around me and concentrate only on what I want. It helps make my vision all about me. I like it like that.

I'm getting to be too sure of myself. I see it all laid out in front of me.

I love jesus and mary and the father too. I love all them boys I'll always be Catholic.
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Southside I got what you want come holler at me. [Mar. 2nd, 2008|09:50 pm]
[I recommend |Bob Dylan - Man of Constant Sorrow]

Denny and George of the Jungle
By: Andres Castellanos

****************************************************************************************

George was surprised to see Denny in the parking lot. He imagined her behind the dark tint of her car. It was a pleasant surprise as he realized his shift at the bank would be an easy one. It was 10:30 a.m. on a Sunday. He had done some drinking the night before but now sat in his car as the perfect Roman going to church. His white shirt was pressed, and his tie was a double Windsor. His coworker inside flashed the signal and George proceeded inside.

The design of the bank was colorful yet elegant. George considered the layered carvings in the high ceilings particularly impressive. The floors were a combination of marble and carpet, with the rug of the central customer area dominating the open space. The rug was abstract in its design with colorful shapes randomly distributed about, which caused more than one hopscotch urge among the customers. It was not a depressing place to work, the entrance and customer area were enclosed by huge glass windows and glass doors instead of walls, which allowed George’s workplace to be flooded in light as long as the Florida sun shined.

In fact the only thing that managed to alter George’s generally good mood was the incompetence and toxic attitude of most of his coworkers. Laziness and backstabbing were prevalent too. It bored and frustrated the former military man George, who knew from his stint in the Navy that large groups of people could come together efficiently to move with a purpose. The perceived institution of “the bank” and its association with cash gave the employees a false sense of power, and with it they managed the capital of the middle-income retirement dominated community of Delray Beach.

Denny was a breath of fresh air among the unspectacular of George’s human surroundings. She was a lost Mayan princess transported to modern day America. She carried her 5’5” frame with grace and beauty and it seemed like the streaks in her hair transmitted light. The best thing about Denny was her humble nature punctuated by the way she excelled at her job. Her lollipop arrangements could not be matched by anyone. She was an architect and a few marveled at the mystical quality of construction that allowed the customers to grab at a random lollipop without the structure being in danger of collapsing.

George felt something special towards Denny, like what a brother feels toward a sister. He felt like his load was lightened by someone of his same race. The bond was unspoken, as they carried lives outside the bank polar opposite. While on shift together George tried to complement her strengths by acting as a brunt instrument. He took all the customers he could, leaving Denny the big picture tasks. She ordered supplies, cleaned out the refrigerator, printed the vault log, and balanced the ATM. She was everywhere greasing up the wheels of the machine, helping the bank run smoothly. George took care of customers and read from a book.

The Sunday shift was cruel to the employees. The customers were sporadic. They would have an hour of lines followed by an hour of tumbleweeds. Things were made worse by the absence of Renee who had contracted a teenage girl sickness at middle age. Her absence left three employees on a five and a half hour shift, George, Denny, and Daniel. The best quality of Daniel was his good instincts and sound judgment. While he took care of customer service, he trusted the tellers to take care of deposits.

With an hour left until closing George sat at the drive-thru absorbed by a book. The ideas were sparking something in his head. All of a sudden his purpose became clear, he wanted to create fire. He wanted his gift to warm those in need of heat, while burning those who coveted its secret. He wanted his creation to be its own source of light inextinguishable like the engine that powers the rotation of the earth. George was a fool lost in thought.

He suddenly realized he had tuned out of his work, and jumped to his proper senses. He proceeded to the front of the bank to find a dramatic scene played out by Denny, Daniel, and a drunken asshole. He felt insulted by something stupid like being told his chicken scratch and bad grammar check was no good. He was being hard on Denny and George felt instinctively a need to protect her. In the end as George handed out the hundred dollar bills to the bitter fat man he refused to tell him to have a nice day. He was astonished by the depravity of the bum’s behavior towards a princess, as he watched Denny bow her head at a tragic angle. When the customer left he felt an intense urge to touch her.

George did not to want to acknowledge the old man with the balding head but he wanted to acknowledge Denny’s pain. He decided to grab her shoulder like a person does to a comrade in battle. He walked towards her and squeezed her fragile girl shoulder. He didn’t wish to do or say anything else. There shouldn’t be a need. George sought to communicate through touch a feeling too dishonorable to utter in battle.

Something changed between the two coworkers, with a feeling of familiarity hanging in the air. As the minutes till closing wound down she talked to herself and he laughed to himself. George tried his best to not look at her, as he sacrificed his sight in exchange for a brief moment when they touched. George was amused when he saw her do a twirl as she crossed the hopscotch rug among the radiance of the sun’s light. He felt her speak out to him in their secret language that she was alright.

They would go their separate ways on the other side of the glass doors, and they did so without saying goodbye. She was on her phone talking to her boyfriend and he was plotting to go to the beach. As George turned to get in his car he caught a glimpse of the sun in Denny’s hair and it made him glad.
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Not a shirt on my back. Not a penny on my name. I can't go home this way. [Feb. 26th, 2008|01:22 pm]
[I recommend |Bob Dylan - Rambler, Gambler]

I hope to be accused of making a deal at the crossroads.

I'll come back and people will be like "I didn't know he could rock like that."

I'm just trying to charm my way to the top. The problem is I started out below the bottom like in the dungeon. I got a lot of catching up to do.

Also, I am officially in training for American Gladiators. Yo man I can do the eliminator. I'd be like Deron Williams in that bitch running it like it was the skills challenge.

Ok if I don't get on American Gladiators I have a plan b. I am going to school in California and kicking drama out the house so I could chill with Rob and Big. I could get along with mini horse.

So yeah thats pretty much it thats how we do it in Florida. Big money big money.
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If I don't do nothing I'ma ball. I'm counting all day like the clock on the wall. [Feb. 2nd, 2008|02:05 am]
[I recommend |Bob Dylan - Only A Pawn in Their Game]

E is sexy because she is mysterious. We are an act of fate. I love laughing with my girlfriend on the phone. We talk about cute stuff about how much we LOVE each other. I am going to put up a poster of you over my bed.

For the superbowl I'm going to go ahead and predict a 31-24 Giants win. Eli is going to have love coming out of his arm like me and elissa and it will guide his team to victory.

I remember getting lost in Charleston. It was fun I kinda miss those streets.

I wonder what my shipmates are up to. They must have their arms full with the reactor and whatnot.

I remember that guy D who lives in Tally he was tripping sometimes, talking junk about conspiracies. I forgive you though son.

I'm fly like paper get high like planes. If you catch me in the corner I got visas in my name.
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I can play basketball with the moon. I got the whole world at my feet. [Jan. 17th, 2008|01:08 pm]
[I recommend |Lil Wayne - I Feel Like Dying]

Anybody that would like to donate food/money/lightly used clothing to a tramp with a heart of gold hit me up cuz thats me.

This is a funny story I was sitting in the pbcc parking lot and I was doing a little smokey smokey. Then for some reason I started thinking about my hot girlfriend and about making sweet love to her, kinda dirty though like from behind. Then I realize I had to be in class soon so I started my way towards the room. I did have tight jeans on so I was only sporting like a half-way-sideways boner, but still yo I was stressing. So as I am walking out of the technology center this group of girls is standing there and one of them is like "hey." And I keep walking cuz I don't know if I could talk with someone while pointing at them with a loaded gun. I dunno man I guess I just love learning.

So ya man I'm tramping it up dunno when I'll cut my hair all I have is taco and wing money.

I think I want another job man I'm all about that paper.
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The slow one now will later be fast. [Jan. 7th, 2008|08:42 am]
[I recommend |Cursive - The Game of Who Needs Who the Worst]

I want desperately to be Dylan. I guess Cate Blanchet made it look good. It is more than the aesthetic and the records. It is more than the fame.

I want to be known and remain unknown. I want to be idolized and left alone. I want to be forever changing, yet consistently brilliant. I want the ball and chain of expectations and then the satisfaction you get when you tell them to go fuck themselves. I want to be mythical and flesh and blood.

Last year I was freewheelin'. This year I'll be Blonde on Blonde.

Next year I'll be a-changin'. If I'm out of order then go fuck yourself.
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Why we fight. [Dec. 16th, 2007|07:01 pm]
[I recommend |Styles P ft the Lox - I Get High]

I am starting to see that if I really want to be the man I aspire to be I am going to have to stay FOCUSED. We expect better out of me. I'm fucking it up.

It is ridiculous.

Man I don't get it sometimes.
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The small hand will touch you, the large hand will cut you... [Dec. 12th, 2007|02:11 pm]
[I recommend |Bob Dylan - Don't Think Twice, It's Alright]

...but till that day I'll be a motherfucking stunna.

I had been looking forward to my work's Christmas party, feeling like it was a unique opportunity. See I don't talk much at work. I'm just focused man. I don't really know how I got to take myself (and my job) so seriously, but I don't make apologies. It is what it is. The biggest pain is watching my coworkers dick around or make stupid mistakes, but I've gotten better over the years with dealing with frustrations. I go for mine and try not to let things get to me.

I was feeling good driving to the party. The night before I had a great night with my friends. I feel so comfortable with them, especially David. Its just all love based on mutual respect and compatible personalities. I like being at a bar, throwing back some beers, laughing like crazy, and playing country on the jukebox. Having conversations with people is tough for me sometimes, as I let my prejudices affect my willingness to communicate. Translation: I fucking hate stupid/cocky/disrespectful people. I guess it hurts a little bit, to not be "miss popularity," but I prefer to keep it real, and I'll only love you if I respect you. In that sense, Dave is untouchable.

My downfall at the party was seat selection. When I arrived at Carrabbas, I was met by only one of like twenty co-workers. It just so happened that the co-worker was the big boss of the bank, the Manager. Personally I wouldn't call him a bank manager, as he carries himself more like a used-car salesman. He is involved with nothing of the day-to-day operation of my bank. His job is to go out and attract business. He sells an image. He fancies himself important, accepting rides in the local parade alongside the deputy-mayor in his convertible. His Benz, his palm-pilot, his greasy hair, and pleasant banter are all meant to sell his image. He likes to give a particularly lame line to prospective business customers, "let us see how we can help your business with the backing of our multi-million dollar corporation." Besides maybe offering free checks, there is nothing besides a loan that our bank can provide, that is of any real use to a business. Obviously Mr. Bank Manager and I are nothing alike. I am not a salesman at all, and we have nothing to talk about. I can respect him for being a hard-worker and for being good at what he does, but what he does is not noble, or of any particular importance to the world.

Yet there was no excuse I would have been able to find in order to sit away from him. I ordered a beer and I sat in my chair, trying my best to feign interest.

The next to arrive were the babies of the bunch. They represent the youth coming out of our schools, self-absorbed, un-professional, and lacking work ethic. The boy is the same boy you'll find at any mall food-court, the kind that will ask for your phone number and will brag about his car. I've had to listen to the story of how he has rebuilt three cars from scratch with his pops ad nauseum. The girl is even worse. She'll have a lengthy explanation for every dumb-shit thing she does and feels. Her problem is definitely not talking, but rather having anything of worth to say. Where are all the honest, humble, hard-working kids? Who will inherit this mess of a country when our parents are gone? I guess there is still hope, but I doubt that these kids are willing to learn.

Of course they sat on the other side of me.

If I didn't have Renee in front of me and a constant supply of alcohol I would have gone crazy. Renee is a professional and a sweetheart. She carries her weight at work, and she is a pleasure to talk to. Of course, experience might have something to do with it, because she is about the oldest of my co-workers. I root for her because she has nice dreams. All she wants is to be with a man worthy of her, and to live an honest life.

We have others that work with us, and mostly I have no problems with them. Unfortunately I was sandwiched between two distinct classes of douche, the snake-oil salesman and the mtv generation.

I don't relate. I don't understand. I don't talk. I smile and I put up.

My hope is that with an education and a decent shot at a writing career I'll be able to rise above the mediocre and the fake. I'll create my own personal utopia with a partner like Elissa and friends like David.

If not I'll smoke till my lungs give out and be happy.
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Van City's got a wide array of suspects. [Nov. 27th, 2007|01:10 pm]
[I recommend |From Autumn to Ashes - Placentapede]

I was standing in the coach store with a cute white bag at arms length when it suddenly hit me that I cannot put myself in the shoes of a 19 year old girl. I guess you can't be inside everybody's head.

Thanksgiving thanks for the little neighborhood kids. They hood around sometimes and make me laugh when they ask me if "Tati the dog" lives in my house. I said yeah she lives here.

I have fun writing papers, just attacking that word processor with ideas so sick. Haha. I guess I know a lot about the Panama Canal even though congressman Wexler hasn't gotten back to me about the Rainey hearings.

But hustling is not easy yo, sometimes you gotta grease up some wheels to keep the peace. It is unfortunate but dang man you just can't be dilly daddling all day.

E I dunno about her.

The thing that gets me is that I find just about everything she does cute as heck. Like when I went to cuddle and she goes, "can you please wash your hands before touching me?" Yup, she did. The girl just likes to be clean, and I am a dirty dirty kid. Haha yeah I just think she is cute.

I never imagined what relationships had to offer. I just figured they had to offer something with all those silly kids so anxious to get one. The sweetness is in the trust we have in one another, the compromises we make, and especially our common mission. I feel well adjusted.

Our virgin sex is so hot. She doesn't mind when I get naked, we are strong enough to stay pure. I'm glad she likes the trinity, because 3 is a magic number.

I wanted you, I went out and got you, thus I own you.
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He left and said to me, "Don't follow. You sleep and dream for tommorow." [Nov. 6th, 2007|11:48 am]
[I recommend |Steel Train - Kill Monsters in the Rain]

There is never a perfect mission.

I'd like to have one though. The lazy pitches right across the plate, are what I could go long for, and the ball would sail past the green monster. But it is just too much to ask. My missions always require insane aerial acrobatics, because I wouldn't want to kill any security guards. It is a nice way to make a dollar. I don't complain.

I have to go do some homework. I'm going to try to go do it in the Library. It is a nice place with all those kids looking like they are studying. Sometimes when I want a break from the books I'll just pop open an Entertainment Weekly and check up on hollywood. Sometimes I'll go back to my car for a quick security check. It is a nice way to make the grade. I don't complain.

89 years. I guess I won't ever make it to year 90. I can be comfortable with that. I know that I'm pretty much untouchable until I'm in my late eighties. I'm going to be doing some hunting I know that. I'm going to go out with my rifle and kill things. I know you can't eat polar bear meat, but a little bite of the heart after I shoot it in the face won't hurt. Australia is going to be tight, hitting kangaroos mid-hop and taking down koala bears in trees. Mmmmhmmmm.

Albums of the year:
1. Cassino - Sounds of Salvation
2. Steel Train - Trampoline
3. Bright Eyes - Cassadaga

no, no, no, no, no
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Something is missing. [Nov. 2nd, 2007|10:54 am]
[I recommend |RBD - Besame Sin Miedo]

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I thought these two were cute.

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I exercise my elbow as much as I can.

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I contracted Montezuma's Revenge and went home like the graffiti recommended.
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Fuzzy logic in the cruel rain. [Oct. 28th, 2007|04:28 pm]
[I recommend |Juanes - Me Enamora]

Colombia is an amazing place. It gave me yellow fever. It gave me something nasty, making me sit on the toilet all damn day for the last 4 days. The water bill is going to be ridiculous.

I got to say goodbye to grandma. Death is something you never get ready for. I felt good carrying the casket. She is in the ground now. My grandfather is with her. We made it humane, leaving him in the urn. (Grandma tends to snore.)

I had my one good day in Bogota on Tuesday. I bought Elissa some silly gifts and drank beer with my cousin Juanny. Then the sickness took over.

I feel like I was in the fucking jungle. I feel like I was left for dead, among the trees and the monkeys, with no food and no water for four days.

I don´t know what I did to deserve this. Maybe someone cursed me for things that I did. Whatever. I´m going back home in a couple of days, finishing off the semester, getting back on track everywhere else, and not coming back here until I see Europe and Africa. I'll wait to see Asia but I wanna see London and Dublin and Warsaw and Berlin and definetely Amsterdam. In Africa I want Egypt and South Africa. I´m done with getting sick in the same place, give me some better hospitality please.

Oh I see the Red Sox are doing pretty well. Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Its that gyroball son. On the subject of sports, I found god. His name is Maradona. Homeboy made some ridiculous goals.

I´m wishing for some Tacos Al Carbon and blonde girls who prefer boy shorts.
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